What is gaslighting in the workplace: Examples and tips to handle it as a leader

Santhosh
24 min read
What is gaslighting in the workplace: Examples and tips to handle it as a leader
What is gaslighting in the workplace: Examples and tips to handle it as a leader

Remember those family road trips when you’d ask, “Are we there yet?” for the hundredth time? And your parents, desperate for silence, would say, “Just 10 more minutes,” even though the GPS clearly showed another hour to go? You’d settle in, trusting their words—until 30 minutes later, you realized you'd been tricked.

The betrayal. The heartbreak. The sheer devastation of watching the highway stretch endlessly ahead while clutching your half-melted candy bar. How could they? Weren’t parents supposed to be the beacon of truth?

Now, imagine that same feeling of misplaced trust in the workplace. A manager insists they never made that decision (even though there are emails proving otherwise). A colleague claims you’re the one who misunderstood, not them. Slowly, you start questioning yourself.

That’s workplace gaslighting. And as a leader, it’s up to you to recognize it and ensure no one is left second-guessing their own reality. Let’s break it down.

What is gaslighting at work?

A man tired from work
What is gaslighting at work?

Gaslighting at work by a subordinate is a form of psychological manipulation where an employee undermines their manager’s perception of reality, often by distorting facts, denying past statements, or questioning decisions to create doubt and confusion. This can erode leadership confidence and disrupt workplace dynamics.

Corporate gaslighting occurs on a larger scale when organizations dismiss concerns, alter narratives, or manipulate employees into questioning their experiences. Employers may use this tactic to downplay issues like unfair treatment, toxic culture, or unethical practices.

In a gaslighting workplace, employees may feel invalidated, isolated, or made to question their professional abilities. This can lead to anxiety, stress, and decreased performance. Gaslighting vs disagreeing must be distinguished—disagreement is based on differing opinions, while gaslighting involves deliberate deception and manipulation.

Common undermining at work examples include spreading false information, taking credit for others' work, or dismissing valid employee concerns. Recognizing these behaviors is crucial for fostering a healthy, respectful work environment free from psychological abuse.

Where did the term "gaslighting" come from?

A man with a paper bag on his head
Where did the term "gaslighting" come from?

The term "gaslighting" originated from a 1938 stage play titled "Gas Light," written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton. This play was later adapted into two films, one in the UK in 1940 and another in the United States in 1944. The story revolves around a manipulative husband who tries to convince his wife and those around her that she is going insane.

The story revolves around a manipulative husband who tries to convince his wife and those around her that she is going insane. He does this by dimming the gas-powered lights (hence the title "Gas Light") and then insisting that the level of illumination has not changed, which leads his wife to question her perception of reality.

The central theme of the play and films is psychological manipulation and the deliberate undermining of someone's confidence in their perceptions. The husband's actions are intended to make his wife doubt her sanity and her ability to trust her judgment.

The term "gaslighting" has since become a widely recognized concept in psychology and popular culture.

It is used to describe a form of emotional abuse and manipulation where one person seeks to gain power and control over another by causing them to doubt their reality or memory.

Gaslighting can take many forms, including denial of facts, trivializing the other person's feelings, and persistent lying, all to destabilize the target's confidence and make them more dependent on the gaslighter.

Characteristics of a gaslighter

Gaslighters in the workplace use manipulation to control narratives, undermine confidence, and create confusion. Understanding their traits is essential in recognizing what is workplace gaslighting and preventing its damaging effects. Here are the key characteristics:

  • Constantly denies reality: They dismiss facts, making others question their memory. A common gaslighting at work example is when a colleague insists a conversation never happened, despite clear evidence.
  • Uses confusing or contradictory statements: They shift conversations to evade accountability. Gaslighting phrases at work, like “That’s not what I meant” or “You’re being too sensitive”, are commonly used to manipulate perception.
  • Manipulates situations to gain control: A gaslighter twists events to make themselves look good while blaming others. Examples of gaslighting at work include falsely claiming credit for someone’s idea while making the real contributor doubt their memory.
  • Isolates targets from support: They discourage employees from discussing concerns or seeking validation. This tactic makes how to manage gaslighting at work even more complex, as victims feel increasingly alone.
  • Subtly undermines confidence: Gaslighters often make comments that cause self-doubt, such as “Are you sure that’s how it happened?” or “I don’t think you understood correctly.” These are classic signs of gaslighting at work.
  • Never takes responsibility: They rarely admit fault and instead shift blame onto others. Recognizing this behavior is key in understanding what is workplace gaslighting and protecting oneself from psychological manipulation.

What is considered gaslighting in the workplace?

A lonely chair
What is considered gaslighting in the workplace?

Gaslighting in the workplace is a form of psychological abuse and emotional manipulation where an individual, often in a position of authority or power, seeks to make another person question their perceptions, memories, and reality. It is a destructive behavior that can have serious consequences for the victim's mental and emotional well-being.

Here are some key characteristics and examples of gaslighting in the workplace:

  1. Denying reality: Gaslighters often deny facts, events, or statements that they previously confirmed, causing the victim to doubt their memory and understanding. For instance, a manager may deny having approved an employee's time off, even though they did so in writing.
  2. Trivializing concerns: Gaslighters downplay or minimize the victim's concerns and feelings. They might respond to an employee's complaint about a heavy workload with statements like, "You're too sensitive" or "You're overreacting."
  3. Shifting blame: Gaslighters frequently shift blame onto the victim for issues or mistakes that aren't their fault. They might say, "You're the reason the project failed" when it was actually due to the manager's mismanagement.
  4. Withholding information: Gaslighting can involve selectively withholding information or feedback to keep the victim in the dark or create uncertainty. For example, a supervisor might not share critical project details and then blame the employee for not meeting expectations.
  5. Projecting false accusations: Gaslighters may project their shortcomings or unethical behavior onto the victim. For instance, an individual who regularly takes credit for others' work might accuse a team member of being untrustworthy.
  6. Isolating the victim: Gaslighters may work to isolate the victim from colleagues, friends, or family, making them more dependent on the abuser's perspective. This can occur through tactics like spreading rumors or criticism about the victim.
  7. Using emotional manipulation: Gaslighters use emotional manipulation techniques to gain control, such as guilt-tripping, making the victim feel responsible for the abuser's behavior, or using praise and flattery to maintain their power.
  8. Constantly changing the rules: Gaslighters may change the rules or expectations frequently, making it impossible for the victim to meet their standards. This creates a sense of confusion and inadequacy.
  9. Discounting feelings: Victims are often told that their feelings are irrational or unwarranted. For example, if an employee expresses frustration about a heavy workload, the gaslighter might respond with, "You're just being paranoid."
  10. Repetition of false information: Gaslighters repeatedly assert false information until the victim begins to question their understanding of the situation. Over time, the victim may start to accept the false narrative.
  11. Blaming the victim for their emotional responses: Gaslighters often blame the victim for reacting emotionally to their manipulative tactics, suggesting that their feelings are unjustified or irrational. They might say things like, "You're being too sensitive" or "You're making a big deal out of nothing," further undermining the victim's confidence in their own perceptions.
  12. Creating a hostile work environment: Gaslighters may intentionally create a hostile or tense work environment to keep the victim off balance and in a state of anxiety. This could involve spreading rumors, gossip, or engaging in passive-aggressive behavior towards the victim, making them feel constantly on edge.
  13. Undermining the victim's achievements: Gaslighters may undermine the victim's accomplishments or contributions, diminishing their confidence and sense of self-worth. This could involve taking credit for the victim's work, minimizing their successes, or attributing their achievements to luck or external factors.
  14. Using intimidation tactics: Gaslighters may use intimidation tactics to maintain control over the victim, such as raising their voice, making threats, or using aggressive body language. This can make the victim feel intimidated and powerless, further reinforcing the gaslighter's dominance.
  15. Creating a culture of fear: Gaslighters may instill a culture of fear in the workplace, where employees are afraid to speak up or challenge the gaslighter's authority. This fear can be used to manipulate and control employees, making them more susceptible to gaslighting tactics.
  16. Distorting reality: Gaslighters often twist the truth and provide misleading information, causing the victim to question their own understanding of situations. This manipulation can lead to a distorted perception of reality, making the victim rely more on the gaslighter's version of events.
  17. Undermining professional relationships: Gaslighters may attempt to undermine the victim's relationships with colleagues by spreading lies or sowing discord. This tactic isolates the victim and diminishes their support network, making them more dependent on the gaslighter.

Gaslighting can lead to serious psychological and emotional distress, including anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and a sense of powerlessness.

Recognizing these behaviors is essential, and addressing gaslighting in the workplace requires creating a safe environment for employees to report such behavior and taking appropriate action against the perpetrators.

What is coworker gaslighting?

What is coworker gaslighting?
What is coworker gaslighting?

Coworker gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a colleague makes you question your own memory, perception, or reality. It can be subtle, like denying past conversations, or more overt, such as spreading false information about your work. The psychological effects of false accusations at work can be severe, leading to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Gaslighting at work by a subordinate can occur when an employee distorts facts to shift blame or manipulate a situation to their advantage. On the other hand, a toxic leader may engage in gaslighting, dismissing concerns or twisting narratives—gaslighting manager examples include altering feedback or taking credit for your ideas.

If you're wondering how to deal with gaslighting at work, start by documenting interactions, seeking support, and setting firm boundaries. Addressing gaslighting at work requires awareness and action, ensuring a workplace where manipulation has no place. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step to protecting yourself.

What’s the difference between manipulation and gaslighting?

Aspect Manipulation Gaslighting
Intent Aims to influence someone’s decisions or actions for personal gain. Seeks to distort reality and make someone doubt their memory, perception, or sanity.
Tactics used Persuasion, guilt-tripping, or withholding information to get a desired outcome. Denying facts, rewriting history, and using gaslighting coworker tactics to confuse the target.
Awareness of victim The victim may recognize they are being influenced but may still comply. The victim often doesn’t realize they are being gaslit at work until significant harm is done.
Impact on the target Creates pressure to act a certain way but does not necessarily alter self-perception. Leaves the victim gaslit at work, causing self-doubt, confusion, and mental distress.
Common workplace examples A boss pressuring an employee to work overtime without proper compensation. A coworker gaslighting someone by denying conversations or altering past agreements.
Long-term effects Can lead to frustration or resentment but does not typically affect mental stability. Being gaslit at work can cause anxiety, lack of confidence, and loss of trust in oneself.

Gaslighting at work by a subordinate

A no u turn
Gaslighting at work by a subordinate

Gaslighting at work by a subordinate can be particularly challenging for managers. A gaslighting coworker may undermine leadership, distort facts, and manipulate perceptions, leading to confusion, frustration, and self-doubt. Here’s how to handle it effectively:

  • Recognize the signs: If you feel like you’re being gaslighted at work, watch for repeated denial of conversations, subtle contradictions, or attempts to make you appear incompetent. Coworker gaslighting often involves spreading false narratives.
  • Document everything: Keep meticulous records of emails, meeting notes, and verbal exchanges. This documentation becomes crucial if you need to escalate concerns or address being gaslit at work formally.
  • Set clear boundaries: Communicate professional expectations directly. Address any attempts at manipulation immediately to prevent the situation from escalating into a toxic environment of gaslighting work.
  • Involve HR early: If being gaslit at work is affecting your leadership, seek HR’s guidance. They can mediate discussions and ensure the situation is handled according to company policies.
  • Foster open communication: Encourage transparency to prevent gaslighting coworker behaviors. Creating an environment where employees feel heard can deter manipulation.
  • Build support & self-care: Lean on trusted colleagues or mentors for perspective and support. Prioritizing mental well-being helps maintain confidence and resilience in the face of being gaslighted at work.

How to report gaslighting at work

Reporting gaslighting at work is crucial to maintaining a respectful and transparent work environment. Whether it's gaslighting at work by a subordinate or a manager, documenting incidents and following the right steps can help address the issue effectively. Here’s how:

  • Document every incident: Keep a detailed record of conversations, emails, and interactions that show patterns of gaslighting. This is essential for proving manipulation and understanding the psychological effects of false accusations at work.
  • Identify patterns and gather evidence: If you experience gaslighting at work by a subordinate or a superior, look for recurring behaviors like denial, blame-shifting, or false accusations. Gaslighting manager examples may include rewriting history or dismissing valid concerns.
  • Speak to a trusted colleague or mentor: Discussing your experience with someone you trust can provide perspective and support. This can also help you navigate how to deal with gaslighting at work effectively.
  • Report to HR with clear facts: Present your documentation to HR, focusing on objective evidence rather than emotions. Be specific about how gaslighting at work is impacting your performance and well-being.
  • Understand company policies: Review workplace guidelines on harassment and misconduct to ensure you follow the right procedures. This is crucial when dealing with psychological effects of being falsely accused at work.
  • Follow up on the report: Ensure that your concerns are addressed and that actions are taken. If necessary, escalate the issue to senior leadership or legal authorities to prevent further gaslighting.

Is gaslighting an HR violation?

Is gaslighting an HR violation?
Is gaslighting an HR violation?

Gaslighting in the workplace can indeed be considered an HR violation, as it goes against the principles of a healthy and respectful work environment. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to make someone doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity. When it occurs in the workplace, it can lead to serious issues, including a hostile work environment, stress, anxiety, and reduced job satisfaction.

HR departments should take gaslighting complaints seriously and have processes in place to address such issues. This may involve conducting thorough investigations, providing support to affected employees, and taking appropriate disciplinary actions against the perpetrators.

Prevention is also key, with HR teams promoting a culture of open communication, respect, and trust within the organization to discourage such behaviors from occurring in the first place.

Employees experiencing gaslighting should document incidents, seek support from trusted colleagues or HR, and assertively address the behavior. Clear workplace policies and training can help prevent manipulation and ensure accountability.

What are gaslighting phrases?

What are gaslighting phrases?
What are gaslighting phrases?

Gaslighting phrases are manipulative and psychologically abusive tactics that are used to make someone doubt their thoughts, feelings, and perceptions.

They are often employed by individuals or even in certain power dynamics to gain control or maintain dominance over another person. Gaslighting can have severe emotional and psychological effects on the victim.

Here are some common gaslighting phrases:

  1. "You're too sensitive." - This phrase is used to dismiss the other person's feelings and emotions, making them feel like their reactions are unwarranted.
  2. "You're imagining things." - Gaslighters often try to convince their victims that what they perceive or remember is entirely fabricated.
  3. "You're crazy" or "You're losing your mind." - These statements undermine the person's mental stability, making them question their sanity.
  4. "It's all in your head." - Gaslighters may deny the existence of a problem, making the victim feel irrational or delusional.
  5. "You're being too paranoid." - This phrase is used to make the victim question their gut feelings and instincts.
  6. "You're making a big deal out of nothing." - Gaslighters minimize their victim's concerns, causing them to doubt the validity of their feelings.
  7. "I never said that" or "You're remembering it wrong." - Gaslighters often deny their statements or actions, making the victim question their memory.
  8. "You're just trying to seek attention." - This phrase discredits the victim's need for support and validation.
  9. "You're the one who's always causing problems." - Gaslighters shift blame onto the victim, making them feel responsible for issues they didn't create.
  10. "You're just being dramatic." - Gaslighters may downplay the victim's emotions, making them feel as though they are overreacting.
  11. "You're too controlling." - This accusation is often used when the victim tries to assert boundaries or seek independence.
  12. "No one else has a problem with me." - Gaslighters may isolate the victim by suggesting that they are the only ones with issues, thus undermining their concerns.
  13. "You're just trying to play the victim." - This statement makes the victim feel guilty for seeking understanding and support.
  14. "You're ungrateful." - Gaslighters manipulate the victim's sense of gratitude and make them feel like they should accept mistreatment.
  15. "You must be cheating or hiding something." - In intimate relationships, gaslighters may use baseless accusations to create mistrust and insecurity.

12 Gaslighting in the workplace examples

A light bulb
12 Gaslighting in the workplace examples

Gaslighting in the workplace is a toxic behavior that can have severe emotional and psychological consequences for employees. It involves manipulating or distorting facts, events, or situations to make a person doubt their perceptions, memory, or sanity.

Here are 12 examples of gaslighting in the workplace:

  1. Denying promised benefits: A manager promises an employee a raise but later claims they never made such an offer, making the employee question their memory.
  2. Project sabotage: A colleague intentionally withholds vital project information, and then accuses the victim of incompetence when the project falters.
  3. Blame shifting: When mistakes occur, a gaslighter blames others, even when they are clearly at fault. They manipulate the situation to make others feel responsible.
  4. Undermining confidence: Constantly belittling an employee's skills and abilities to the point where they begin to doubt their competence.
  5. Selective amnesia: Gaslighters may conveniently forget conversations, agreements, or promises, causing their target to question whether the interaction even took place.
  6. False accusations: Accusing an employee of behavior they did not engage in, causing them to defend themselves against false claims.
  7. Invalidating emotions: Dismissing an employee's feelings, such as telling them they are "overreacting" or "too sensitive."
  8. Silent treatment: Isolating an employee by ignoring them or excluding them from meetings and social interactions.
  9. Withholding information: Deliberately not sharing critical information and then blaming the victim for being uninformed.
  10. Constant criticism: Relentless criticism, no matter how well the employee performs, erodes their self-esteem and self-worth.
  11. Unreasonable expectations: Setting unrealistic goals or expectations and berating the employee when they inevitably fall short.
  12. Projecting fault: A gaslighter projects their flaws and insecurities onto others, making the victim feel as though they are responsible for the gaslighter's issues.

Psychological effects of false accusations at work

A puzzled brain
Psychological effects of false accusations at work

False accusations in the workplace can have profound psychological effects on individuals, impacting their mental well-being, job satisfaction, and overall performance. The psychological toll of facing false accusations at work can be significant, leading to various adverse effects:

  • Stress and anxiety: Being falsely accused of wrongdoing can trigger intense feelings of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Individuals may experience persistent worry about the potential consequences of the accusations on their reputation, career advancement, and professional relationships.
  • Damage to self-esteem: False accusations can undermine an individual's confidence and self-esteem. Being unjustly accused may lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and self-doubt, as individuals grapple with questioning their own integrity and competence.
  • Emotional distress: False accusations can evoke strong emotions such as anger, frustration, and sadness. Individuals may struggle to cope with the emotional turmoil caused by being unfairly targeted and may experience mood swings or difficulty concentrating on their work.
  • Isolation and alienation: Facing false accusations may result in social isolation and alienation from colleagues. Individuals may feel ostracized or stigmatized by their peers, leading to a sense of loneliness and disconnection within the workplace.
  • Deterioration of mental health: The prolonged psychological strain of false accusations can contribute to the deterioration of mental health. Individuals may experience symptoms of depression, insomnia, or other mental health disorders as they struggle to cope with the fallout of the accusations.
  • Trust issues: Experiencing false accusations can lead to trust issues, making it challenging for individuals to trust their colleagues, supervisors, or the organizational processes. This erosion of trust can hinder collaboration and teamwork, further impacting the work environment.
  • Hypervigilance and paranoia: Victims of false accusations may develop hypervigilance, constantly on edge and wary of further accusations or scrutiny. This state of heightened alertness can contribute to paranoia, where individuals feel they are being watched or targeted unfairly by others.

Who is a gaslighting manager?

Who is a gaslighting manager?
Who is a gaslighting manager?

A gaslighting manager is an individual in a position of authority within an organization who manipulates and undermines the perceptions, emotions, and experiences of their subordinates. This type of manager may employ various tactics to exert control and power over their team members, including denying reality, trivializing concerns, shifting blame, and withholding information.

Gaslighting managers often create a toxic work environment characterized by fear, confusion, and distrust.

Gaslighting behavior from a manager can have detrimental effects on employee morale, performance, and well-being. Employees may experience feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and frustration as a result of constant manipulation and invalidation of their experiences.

Addressing gaslighting behavior from a manager requires a proactive approach from organizational leaders. It is essential to establish clear policies against gaslighting and provide training and support for both managers and employees.

How to deal with gaslighting at work as a manager?

A woman writing
How to deal with gaslighting at work as a manager?

Dealing with gaslighting at work, whether as a manager or an employee, is crucial for maintaining a healthy work environment. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone attempts to make another person doubt their perception, memory, or reality.

Here are some strategies for handling gaslighting in the workplace, particularly if you're a manager:

  • Recognize the signs: The first step in dealing with gaslighting is to recognize the signs. Gaslighters often use tactics like denying their actions, shifting blame, and questioning your memory. Be aware of these behaviors.
  • Document everything: Keep detailed records of interactions, especially when you suspect gaslighting. Note dates, times, locations, and people present during the conversations. This documentation will be valuable if you need to address the issue formally.
  • Maintain self-confidence: Gaslighters often target individuals with low self-esteem. Building and maintaining self-confidence is essential. Trust your instincts and feelings; don't let anyone undermine your self-assurance.
  • Seek support: Share your experiences with trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors. Discussing your concerns with others can provide emotional support and help you gain different perspectives on the situation.
  • Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for acceptable workplace behavior. Communicate these boundaries to your team and address any violations promptly.
  • Confront the issue: If you're certain of gaslighting, address the problem head-on. Choose a private and non-confrontational setting, express your concerns, and use your documented evidence as necessary.
  • Involve HR or senior management: If the gaslighting continues or escalates, involve your HR department or senior management. They can mediate the situation, conduct an investigation, and take appropriate action to address the issue.
  • Offer training and education: Consider providing training on workplace behavior, emotional intelligence, and communication skills. This can help prevent gaslighting and improve overall workplace relationships.
  • Encourage open communication: Promote open and honest communication within your team. Encourage employees to speak up about their concerns and assure them that their voices will be heard.
  • Support the targets: If you have employees who are victims of gaslighting, offer your support. Listen to their concerns, assist them in addressing the issue, and ensure they feel safe and valued in the workplace.
  • Set a positive example: As a manager, your behavior sets the tone for your team. Demonstrate respectful and transparent communication, and model the behavior you expect from your employees.
  • Review workplace policies: Ensure that your organization's policies and procedures address workplace harassment and provide clear guidance on reporting and handling such issues.
  • Self-care: Coping with gaslighting can be emotionally draining. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being by practicing self-care and seeking professional help if needed.
  • Implement regular check-ins: Schedule regular one-on-one meetings with your team members to provide a safe space for open communication and to stay informed about any concerns they may have. These check-ins can help prevent issues from escalating and provide an opportunity to address any potential gaslighting behavior early on.
  • Promote a culture of accountability: Encourage accountability at all levels of the organization by holding everyone, including yourself, responsible for their actions and behaviors. By promoting transparency and accountability, you create an environment where gaslighting tactics are less likely to thrive.
  • Empower employees: Empower your team members by providing them with the tools, resources, and authority they need to perform their jobs effectively. This empowerment can help build confidence and reduce the likelihood of them being susceptible to gaslighting tactics.
  • Encourage bystander intervention: Foster a workplace culture where employees feel comfortable intervening if they witness gaslighting or other forms of harassment. By encouraging bystander intervention, you create a supportive environment where gaslighting is less likely to occur.

Dealing with gaslighting in the workplace is a challenging task, but it's essential to maintain a healthy, productive, and respectful work environment. By recognizing the signs, addressing the issue, and fostering open communication, you can create a workplace where gaslighting is less likely to occur and where employees feel safe and valued.

20 Tips to deal with gaslighting at work

A light bulb
20 Tips to deal with gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at work can be a challenging and distressing experience, as it involves manipulative behaviors that undermine a person's confidence and perception of reality. Here are 20 tips to help individuals deal with gaslighting at work:

  1. Educate yourself: Understanding what gaslighting is can be the first step in recognizing it. Learn about the common tactics used by gaslighters.
  2. Trust your instincts: If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Trust your gut feelings when you suspect manipulation.
  3. Document everything: Keep a record of incidents, including dates, times, locations, and what was said or done. This can be essential if you need to address the issue formally.
  4. Seek support: Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or family about what you're experiencing. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective.
  5. Stay calm: Gaslighters often try to provoke strong emotional reactions. Practice remaining composed and assertive during interactions.
  6. Set boundaries: Establish personal life boundaries and make them clear to your colleagues. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable.
  7. Confront the issue: Politely but firmly address the gaslighter, expressing your concerns about their behavior. Use "I" statements to explain how it affects you.
  8. Maintain confidence: Gaslighters thrive on undermining self-esteem. Focus on your accomplishments and maintain self-confidence.
  9. Use empowering language: Instead of saying, "You make me feel," say, "I feel this way when this happens." This shifts the focus to your feelings.
  10. Stay professional: Continue to perform your job to the best of your ability, and don't allow the gaslighting to affect your work quality.
  11. Consider mediation: If the issue persists, suggest mediation or a meeting with HR to address the problem with a neutral third party.
  12. Know when to escalate: If all else fails and the situation worsens, you may need to escalate the issue to higher management or HR.
  13. Self-care: Gaslighting can take a toll on your mental health. Prioritize self-care, seek therapy or counseling if necessary, and consider support groups for those who've experienced similar situations.
  14. Practice assertive communication: Develop assertiveness skills to effectively express your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries without being aggressive or passive. Assertive communication can help you confront gaslighting behavior confidently and assert your rights in the workplace.
  15. Recognize patterns: Pay attention to recurring patterns or themes in the gaslighter's behavior. Understanding these patterns can help you anticipate their tactics and respond more effectively when confronted with gaslighting.
  16. Seek professional guidance: If you're struggling to cope with gaslighting at work, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional or counselor. They can provide you with coping strategies, emotional support, and tools to navigate challenging situations.
  17. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion as you navigate through the challenges of dealing with gaslighting. Acknowledge your strengths and resilience in facing adversity and give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being.
  18. Engage in workplace training: Encourage management to implement training programs on recognizing and addressing gaslighting and other toxic behaviors in the workplace. This helps create awareness and accountability.
  19. Network with trusted colleagues: Building strong professional relationships can help validate your experiences and counteract the isolation that gaslighters often try to create. A reliable support system can strengthen your position when addressing gaslighting at work.
  20. Consider your long-term career health: If the workplace culture enables gaslighting, and there are no signs of change, evaluate whether staying in that environment aligns with your well-being and career goals. Prioritizing your mental and professional health is essential.

How can an employee experience survey help you curb gaslighting at the workplace?

Survey
How can an employee experience survey help you curb gaslighting at the workplace?

An employee experience survey plays a vital role in addressing and preventing gaslighting in the workplace, which involves manipulative tactics to make employees doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity. Here's how an it can help curb gaslighting:

  • Transparent feedback mechanisms: Employee experience platforms often include features for anonymous feedback and surveys. This empowers employees to express their concerns and experiences openly without fear of retaliation. When multiple employees report similar issues, it becomes harder for gaslighters to dismiss these concerns as isolated incidents.
  • Documentation and accountability: Many platforms enable employees to document their interactions and communications, including meetings, emails, and performance evaluations. Having a clear record of what was said or done can help employees validate their experiences and hold gaslighters accountable for their actions.
  • 360-Degree feedback: They often facilitate 360-degree feedback, where employees can provide input on their colleagues' behavior and performance. This creates a balanced view of interactions and can reveal patterns of manipulation or gaslighting.
  • Resource accessibility: Employee experience platforms frequently offer resources related to mental health, workplace ethics, and reporting procedures. Employees who suspect they are being gaslit can access these resources to understand what they're experiencing and how to address it.
  • Data Analytics: They analyze data from surveys and feedback to identify trends and patterns. If multiple employees report behavior indicative of gaslighting, the platform can flag these concerns, making it easier for HR or management to intervene.
  • Training and Awareness: They provide training modules and resources to raise awareness about gaslighting and its detrimental effects. By educating employees and managers about gaslighting behavior, organizations can create a culture that rejects such manipulative tactics.
  • Peer and manager assessments: By incorporating peer and manager assessments into performance evaluations, an EXP can provide a comprehensive view of employee behavior. Managers and peers can provide valuable insights into whether gaslighting or manipulative tactics are occurring.
  • Escalation paths: Employee experience platforms define clear escalation paths for reporting issues related to gaslighting. Having a structured process ensures that employees have a way to escalate their concerns if they believe their experiences are not being addressed adequately.
  • Mental health support: Some platforms offer mental health resources and support services, such as access to counseling or therapy sessions. Employees who are experiencing gaslighting can seek confidential support to cope with the emotional toll of manipulation and regain their confidence.
  • Community forums: Employee experience platforms may include community forums or discussion boards where employees can share their experiences and support each other. These forums provide a space for validation, solidarity, and sharing strategies for dealing with gaslighting behavior.
  • Real-time alerts: The systems equipped with real-time monitoring capabilities can send alerts to HR or management when patterns of behavior are detected. This proactive approach allows organizations to intervene promptly and prevent gaslighting from persisting unchecked.

Conclusion

In the complex landscape of the modern workplace, recognizing and addressing gaslighting is crucial. As leaders, we must be vigilant, fostering a culture of trust, empathy, and open communication.

By understanding the examples and following the tips outlined, we can dismantle the toxic roots of gaslighting, ensuring that our teams thrive in an environment where their voices are heard, their experiences are validated, and their potential is unleashed.

One way to achieve this is by leveraging CultureMonkey, an advanced employee experience survey that empowers organizations to cultivate a transparent and psychologically safe work environment. With features like real-time employee feedback, pulse surveys, sentiment analysis, and AI-driven insights, leaders can proactively identify workplace concerns, including gaslighting, before they escalate.

By integrating technology with leadership best practices, we can create workplaces that shine with respect and genuine collaboration. Let’s lead by example and use the right tools to build an inclusive, trust-driven work culture where employees feel valued and empowered.

FAQs

1. Is silent treatment considered hostile work environment?

The silent treatment in the workplace can indeed contribute to a hostile work environment. This behavior involves deliberately ignoring or refusing to communicate with a coworker, which can create feelings of isolation, exclusion, and discomfort. The silent treatment undermines collaboration, teamwork, and effective communication, ultimately fostering a toxic atmosphere that can negatively impact productivity and employee morale.

2. How do you outsmart a gaslighter?

Outsmarting a gaslighter requires maintaining awareness of their manipulative tactics and employing strategies to protect one's mental and emotional well-being. This includes trusting one's instincts, documenting instances of gaslighting, setting boundaries, and seeking support from trusted colleagues or mentors. Additionally, practicing self-confidence, assertive communication, and emotional resilience can help individuals navigate gaslighting situations effectively while maintaining their self-assurance.

3. How do you know if you're being gaslighted at work?

Recognizing gaslighting at work involves being vigilant for common signs of manipulation, such as denial of reality, trivialization of concerns, and shifting blame onto oneself. If you find yourself doubting your memory, feelings, or perceptions due to repeated instances of invalidation you may be experiencing gaslighting. Trusting your instincts and seeking validation from trusted colleagues can help you address the issue effectively.

4. The number one sign of gaslighting

The primary sign of gaslighting is the deliberate manipulation of reality to undermine an individual's perception of truth and sanity. Gaslighters often deny factual events, invalidate feelings, or shift blame onto the victim, causing confusion and self-doubt. This tactic aims to exert control and power over the victim, leading them to question their reality and ultimately eroding their confidence and autonomy.

5. What is a gaslighter personality?

A gaslighter personality is characterized by manipulative behavior aimed at controlling and undermining others' perceptions, emotions, and reality. Gaslighters often exhibit traits such as deceitfulness, narcissism, and a lack of empathy. They use tactics like denial, blame-shifting, and emotional manipulation to maintain power and dominance over their targets. Gaslighters may appear charming and charismatic initially but reveal their manipulative tendencies over time.

6. Why is gaslighting at work so harmful?

Gaslighting at work is profoundly harmful as it erodes trust, undermines confidence, and impairs professional relationships. By distorting reality and invalidating experiences, gaslighters create a toxic work environment marked by confusion and self-doubt. This manipulation can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and decreased job satisfaction among employees, ultimately impacting productivity and organizational culture.

7. Is gaslighting in the workplace illegal?

Gaslighting in the workplace is not always explicitly illegal, but it can violate workplace laws if it contributes to discrimination, harassment, or a hostile work environment. If gaslighting at work leads to emotional distress or wrongful termination, legal action may be possible. Employees should document incidents and report them to HR or seek legal advice if necessary.

8. Is gaslighting a form of harassment in the workplace?

Yes, gaslighting can be a form of workplace harassment when it involves repeated psychological manipulation that creates a toxic or hostile work environment. A gaslighting coworker or manager who distorts reality, undermines confidence, or falsely accuses employees can contribute to emotional distress. Organizations should take gaslighting complaints seriously to protect employees' well-being and maintain a respectful workplace.


Santhosh

Santhosh

Santhosh is a Sr. Content Marketer with 3+ years of experience. He loves to travel solo (though he doesn’t label them as vacations, they are) to explore, meet people, and learn new stories.